Thursday, February 11, 2010

Story 5 : What if we are not super rich ? Should we be always compared.

Another Story goes here... 

I am here to share with you all my problems and get some strength. I am married for 4 yrs now and a mother for a beautiful daughter. My husband is the only son and his mother passed away long before we got married. My father-in-law stays with us. My husband is not too successful professionally till now due to which he is looked down by his own father. My husbands’ earnings are pretty low and we are maintaining a middle class profile. Coming to my self, I was a regular student at college and never grew up to do a job, for which I guess I am actually paying off now.

After our marriage my Father-in-Law was kind of monitoring the way we spend the money and was giving us too many suggestions as to how to save. One thing I always used to wonder was the comparison done between my husband the rest of his cousins who are in pretty good condition. Initially I used to think as he is the elder one of the family we should respect his advice and never was against him. In fact we also had to cancel our honey moon due to him, but I was completely ok with it. As days passed by he started indirectly asking me to go for a job and earn money, he started giving me hints as to I should not increase the power bill by watching the TV and using the washing machine to wash clothes and many more things like this. I tolerated enough and one day I told him that as I come from a village background it will take some time for me to get adjusted to this new place and I would definitely like to do a job and help the family. But my Father-in-law took me in the wrong meaning and started complaining to my husband about me. He also used to go to all my relatives’ places and tell that I don’t respect him and don’t listen to him in the house.  This obviously had an effect on my relationship with husband.

Slowly thing started to change when I joined in a small ad agency as a receptionist but not for a long time. Now the new issues started. Some times when there was work in the office I used to come late by an hour or so and immediately my father-in-law would ask me if I had good time with my friends in office chit chatting. I used to feel so frustrated and humiliated by his words. He asks me such questions in front of every one and when we are in some functions. And If I start explaining to him why I was late (just as an example) he would say I am back answering him and don’t even consider his age. My husband on the side supports his father saying he is advising us for our own good. After I started earning my father-in-law keeps a check on what all I buy and how much right from groceries to dresses for my daughter. If I buy a new dress for my daughter because I liked it he would immediately say why did I get it when there is no occasion at all. If I plan for a movie or outing he would say we first need to have a proper bank balance for all enjoyment in life.

I do understand that we are not a very well to do family but does that mean we cannot have small pleasures also in life? I am really getting frustrated and irritated and humiliated in front of all my relatives with my father-in-law’s behavior.

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