Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Story 14 : Living on the verge coz i cant give a baby - Please Help.

Thanks for one of the reader who contributed. 
One day one of my friend opened up and told her story ......
In her words:
"When i got married, my parents gave good amount of dowry to in-laws and husband, they also bargained on a scooter and few more stuff in the last minute, My parents arranged for all that and finally marriage is over. I was working then (in India)and they were not very keen on my working, i was even ready to give up my job.
I was trying to get along with my mother-in-law, father-in-law and his sisters after marriage. In many occasions i could see they were not supportive at all. Before others they talking nicely and treat me well so other relatives think everything is fine and i would not know how to react.

I got pregnant, was then working in India - could not take care of myself well and was very weak whole time - in 6th month docters advised it is better to get aborted bcoz of medical concerns.  There was lot of pressure from in-laws and husband later for the baby and after that over 2 years my in-laws, husband did not let me visit my parents ....i could not go to my mothers place to visit even my father when he met with an accident. After few months i had severe stomach pain and had to go through medical examination, came to know that my tubes got infected during the abortion.
Now my husband does not know this and thinks it is only 1 tube that is not working, hoping that some day i can give him a baby - i was fearing if he knew both tubes were not working he would refuse to take me even to USA ( he was getting ready to leave to USA on work visa as software engineer). After coming to USA 2 more years passed, then also things did not change, husband was very unhappy that i am not able to give him a baby, we had quite bit of arguments on this issue.
What should i do? i am always at fear that my husband will leave me any time and scared to what if he wants to marry another woman bcoz i am not able to give him a baby? To go through any fertility programs and get some more medical support seem to be expensive for and to do that also i am financially dependent on my husband. I am okay even to adopt a kid and live happily with my husband inspite of issues with my in-laws but i fear to discuss with him the whole thing ...  please help me ....  "